Farrel-ly Good Relationship Advise

We recently enjoyed lunch with Bill & Pam Farrel who are authors and speakers on family life issues, especially relationships. They shared some insights with us from their book "Single Men are Like Waffles, Single Women are Like Spaghetti." We laughed a lot and learned a lot from their stories, their suggestions and our own discussions together.

They suggested some real down to earth things that help us to understand ourselves better as well as the opposite sex. Here are a few of their thoughts that struck me:
*Guys and Gals relate differently (seems like a no-brainer, but misunderstanding one another is the biggest problem with relationships).
*Guys often feel inadequate at communication (I often feel like I'm talking my way out of a corner with my own wife, this is an area in which I have some work to do).
*Meet lots of people (great advice for singles, that attitude can overcome loneliness and depression)
*Here's a quote from Bill, "Emotions follow decisions, make good decisions and emotions will follow.

*Be a good listener... (I didn't exactly hear the rest of the comment because I wasn't listening). Actually they gave us 3 R's for active listening and good communication (try it):
1. REPEAT...key phrases
2. REGROUP...hand back the conversation
3. RECONNECT...to something you've gone through.


They talked about the 4 levels of communication:
1. Small Talk
2. Thoughts & Ideas
3. Convictions and Opinions
4. Emotional Intimacy
What level are you able to go to with the different relationships in your life?

And they shared some good verses for relationship wisdom:
Philippians 2:3-4 Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. 4 Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. (Hebrews 3:13; James 1:19; Romans 15:17; Eph 5:22-33; Phil 2:3-4; 1 Thess 5:13ff; 2 Peter 1:3-7)

It was encouraging to see a group of 25 people who were interested in growing in their ability to communicate with others. They came to figure out how to have relationships that would be personally satisfying and at the same time glorify God. The Farrel's encouraged the group to plow ahead faithfully with eyes wide open to how God was going to use them for his purpose.