Loneliness 4: What are we so afraid of?

For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." Romans 8:15

If we believe that we were designed in the image of God and therefore made for relationships, does that mean that having relationships is the end of all loneliness? If it were only that easy. I remember the appearance of a nagging feeling of loneliness at times, even after I was married. You see I did not understand that a relationship or even a marriage relationship does not necessarily equate with true companionship.

True companionship is more than just the existence of a relationship, but is something much deeper. It is an environment where someone seeks to know you, all of you and you feel safe sharing that sensitive soft-core that is deep within you. It is quite possible to have a pleasant, stable relationship yet to never develop the deeper knowledge of one another that can be described as companionship. This is where fear comes in. We maintain our relationships at a pleasant level because we fear other things will happen if we expose our real selves to these people. The most common fear that leads to loneliness is fear of rejection. We fear that we won’t be accepted if we unveil our true selves. So for fears-sake we conceal this soft-sensitive part of our being out of self-protection and as a result no one truly knows us.

When we make these decisions we are actually driving a wedge of separation between us and others andtrue companionshipp is never possible. We are so afraid to admit that we have low self-esteem...or don’t feel loved... or struggle with pornography... or don’t feel attractive... or embarrass easily... or that we struggle with communicating our feelings that we don’t let others truly know us. So marriages exist without true self-disclosure. Parent-child relationships exist without mutual understanding. Friendships exist without deep levels of communication. Don’t let fear keep you from enjoying true companionship.

Take stock of the relationships in your life as to the degree to which you know one another. Your spouse. Your parents/children. Your friends. Ask God for the courage to share your heart with those that you can trust.