Pushback

I received a bit of pushback on my suggestion for a good church slogan the other day. He's a friend and e-mailed me off-line. But his thoughts were valid and I think quite common, so I'd like to share them with you. He basicly said... I don't trust church people enough to share personal things with them. I've been hurt in the past and I'm tired of feeling judged. So how do you actually find people... in the church... that you can trust.

Can anyone identify? I didn't think so. Well his experience is I think more common than he may actually feel. But I don't want to allow church to throw in the towel and only be the LND floor of the hospitol for sinners. That's the floor where everyone is happy because new babies are born every day. No the church should also be an ER where people might die quick, or the terminal diseases floor where people are slow to die, or the psych floor where people don't play with full decks.

So how would you council my friend to find people he can trust... because he seriously wants to find them. Well here are 4 ideas from me:

(1) Don't make it all about you: If the church is just a place where you vomit all your needs, wants, wins and losses you will drive people away. If you want to find true friends... then first be a true friend. Go out of your way to show your concern for others and in the process you might find someone willing to return the favor.

(2) Look to and point others to Jesus: The good news of the church is that we've have been, are being and will be rescued through Jesus. If we spend all our time focusing on our problems without moving on to the resolution, we are just a support group. We should balance the lamentations of our circumstance with hope infused trust on the one who will dry our tears... Jesus.

(3) Remember we are all broken: Period. Those who are most broken are the ones who don't realize how bad off they are. Look for people who do the first two well... because they will make good friends. And remember, those you look up to are broken too.

(4) Proceed with caution: We've all been burned... so don't be naiive. Allow time for relationships to deepen. Take small steps with self-disclosure and before sharing BIG things... share your fears.

Church Slogan

If you've been around a church long enough, to get past the smiles and the casual conversations about the weather... you've seen how broken people really are. Everybody has issues... the problem is that we tend to be great actors. So I've landed on a new church slogan...

Real People
Real Problems
Real Messy

Isn't that a great? In the church... when we encounter Jesus... we are exposed for the hypocrites and fakes and posers that we naturally tend to be. We can't get away from Jesus... without our inner thoughts and feelings being challenged. And that can be real messy. That is why we need others. Others who can see us for who we are... others we can be honest with... and others willing to help us work through the messiness of following Christ wholly and authentically. But watch out when you step into it... because its messy... the church that is.

Now THAT'S a good question

I've been carrying a scrap of paper around with me for about 6 weeks now. It is a simple list of questions. But there is something about these questions that cuts right to the core of my being. They are good questions... and they cause me to pause and reflect.

I picked them up one Sunday morning when I was visiting my church away from home, Apex. Pastor Rob lifted them from the pages of [Nehemiah], as he led his church through the book earlier this summer. I think a good question is dangerous... it can expose you. This set has proven dangerous for me... I hope you benefit as well.

1. What is it right now that requires courage from you to act on? [1]
2. Do you feel like you are meeting with the people of God or building with the people of God? [2]
3. How do you deal with conflict and do you realize how important your response is? [4]
4. Are you pursuing self advancement so much that you are desensitized to hurting people around you? [5]
5. Is prayer a regular part of your fight of faith or is it a last resort? [6]
6. Is having to be known by others more important to you than being known by God? [7]
7. Is your pursuit of joy in God the primary pursuit of your life? [8]
8. Is it hard for you to admit your wrong or take responsibility for sinful actuions? [9]

May you be so fortunate as to hold company with people who ask good questions.

Does the end justify the means?

I need some input here. I want your feedback.

I've always heard it said that... the ends do not justify the means. Similarly my coaches would say... it doesn't matter if you win or lose it is how you play the game. I've always taken this to mean that there are some rules of engagement to [whatever] and living by them is more important than do otherwise just to get a desired result. Is that true or am I whack?

In life... in business... in relationships... in marriage... in church... in school. Does it really matter how you play the game... how you conduct yourself... how you carry out your business?

Is this just an old-wives tale... is it common sense... or is it wise biblical advice that you pass down your sons and daughters.

Please share your stories (success and failure)... your metaphors... and your sage advice.

Cleaning out my closet

In life you collect stuff... and some of it is stuffed in the back of the closet.

You grow up... you go to school... you date... you get a job... you move... you leave jobs... you get new jobs... you get married... you make friends... you lose friends.

All the experiences and relationships that are part of your story form you spiritually... both positive and negative. Some of the toughest... or most shameful... or most painful experiences often get stuffed in the back of the closet. And even though no one sees it... it can affect everything. And as "Em" says... I think we ALL have skeletons in our closet.

I've found that my personal and spiritual growth depends on my willingness to clean out the closet of my life from time to time. It is scary... It is painful... but the pain is the way to growth.

There is a healthy and an unhealthy way to react or respond to these personal demons. And while I don't have it all figured out... what I tend to need is some close and trusted friends who will help me shine the light of Christ into the dark recesses of closets of my life. To not just shine the light... but to help me clean it out and tidy up.

Em.... sing. (FYI: Eminem uses some colorful language to express his emotions. If you can't handle that... then don't watch it)

[NOTE: I do not condone the excessive use of filthy language and have a low tolerance for such language myself. I do not regularly expose myself to such potty-mouthed entertainment as simply a consumer... but try to engage it from a Christian worldview. Engagement is not always retreat. The theme of this song has captivated me from my first exposure to it... and I share it here with the greatest of caution and this extra note... thanks to my friend Sean]



God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.
1 John 1:5b-7

I'm pissed...

That's right. I'm angry. My blood is boiling. I've had it up to here. My heart is racing and pounding out of my chest. I talked with a friend last night... and I think he is being treated... (deep breath, deep breath)... "crummy". And it makes me MAD.

So what makes you mad?
What makes your blood boil?
When do you see red?

In my sleepless night... I reflected a bit on what turns on this switch in me. And at least one of the things is when someone close to me... someone that I care about... is mistreated, taken advantage of, or bullied.

I'm going to go outside and scream!

Is your God GREEN?

There is a new issue on the agenda for some churches these days... being eco-friendly. That is right... some who call themselves Christians have heard Al Gore's call for repentance and are preaching and practicing a lifestyle which is friendlier to the earth. Some even suggesting that our ever-increasing consumption of natural resources is sinful at worst and devastatingly ignorant at best.

I just listened to a 5 week series from Mars Hill Bible Church entitled God is Green. The content ranged from a theology of creation care to practical ways to live a simpler, less consumptive lifestyle. One Sunday they invited Dr. Matt Sleeth author of Serve God, Save the Planet: A Christian Call to Action. Rob Bell even suggested that this issue of green-ness is the new seatbelt.

Then yesterday I saw that Prestonwood Baptist Church in Dallas was written up in the Dallas Morning News as going green. The article did not so much focus on caring for the environment as saving money wasted on energy consumption to free it up for "real ministry." Christine and I visited Preston-"world" for a few months when we lived in Dallas. If Southern Baptists are going green... does that mean it is becoming a mainstream evangelical issue?

So what do you think.
Is God Green?
Does Jesus care how we consume or care-for the environment?
Should the church lead this charge or leave it liberal, tree-huggers?

Life is a Roller Coaster

There is no two ways around it... life is full of ups and downs. That is just the way our 70 years in the world are designed. From dates... to jobs... to deaths... to births... to accidents... to illness... to rejections... to mistakes...

One moment you are on the top of the hill and the next you are at the bottom of the valley. And from my experience... those extremes often follow closely after one another.

When it comes to the roller coaster of life... I think there are two kinds of people in the world... the hands-on-the-bar type and the hands-in-the-air-type.

The hands-on-the-bar type hate the ride because they aren't in control. So they white-knuckle it and grit their teeth through every hill and valley. They don't trust the track or the car because they don't feel in control. And when the ride is over and they step off the car they sigh in relief as they regain a sense of control.

A good bible example is Jacob (Gen. 25-35). He was a crooked guy. He was constantly trying to take advantage of someone else and control the situation for his benefit. He tricked his brother twice (Gen 25,27)... he deceives his dying father (27)... he deceives his father-in-law (30)... he lies again to his brother (33). His life is a Big Brother episode... where he is scheming and scamming others for his own benefit. He experienced the ups and downs... but was always struggling to gain control.

The hands-in-the-air type enjoy the ride because they aren't in control. They lift their hands boldly to the sky and let the car and track do its work. They trust the structure realizing that no amount of bar holding will change the ups and downs of life. And when the ride is over and they step off the car they breathe a sigh of excitement and get back in line.

A good bible example is Joseph (Gen. 37-50), Jacob's son. Joseph is the only really good guy in Genesis. He is the only guy who never stumbles and who always does what is right in the eyes of the Lord. From running from sexual immorality (39)... to being bushwhacked by his brothers (37)... rising to power (39)... to falling from power (39)... and to once again facing his traitor brothers (43-46). In each situation he obeys God and leaves the results to God.

I want to enjoy the ride and let God control the ups and downs.

Life is like an Unfinished Bus

Right after my post on the "f" word... FEAR... I went over to my friend Derek's blog and read on how life is like an Unfinished Bus. It said in a fresh way... what I am experiencing in my own life in the area of dealing with fear. Here's a good taste:

"Often times I want my life to be whole, fully restored and complete now. Not tomorrow. Not next week, but today. I don't want to have to go through the hard restorative process of the soul work, often needing to take place for wholeness and full restoration to be completed. I want my own interior world to healed and at peace. Yet, I know it is a process and it takes time. I'm just thankful God himself is the restorer of my soul as I plod ahead, following after Jesus."

So whether you like buses... or restoring things... or realize you're not fully restored... I think you'll relate to my monk in a bus friend.

When God Speaks

My family had the opportunity to get away this weekend. It involved visiting a different church and its nice to go to a place once in a while where I am anonymous and can just soak in the experience like everyone else. This past Sunday God spoke to me. Some of you know what I am talking about. It was one of those unmistakable times when my heart was pierced by the word of God. And I am still recovering from it. It was like the pastor was just talking to me. My spirit quivered and I knew that God was speaking to me.

The preacher spoke on being holy from 1 Peter 1:13-16:

Therefore, preparing your minds for action, and being sober-minded, set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ. As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance, but as he who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, since it is written, "You shall be holy, for I am holy."

I was challenged to pursue God's holiness. God holiness means that he is perfect and set apart. And for me that means pursuing perfection and pursuing purity. The challenge was to realize our positional holiness and pursue a practical holiness... not one or the other.

How we do this comes right from the text. It flows from a controlled mind and a hope fueled on eternal rewards.

To be honest I've been a bit on cruise lately. My mind has not been sharp and pointed in the best direction all the time. I've let anger and bitterness creep into my thinking about certain people and certain situations. I've gotten lazy about taking those thoughts captive to Christ. And I've placed too much of my hope on my temporal success or failure in certain situations instead of placing it the eternal inheritance resulting entirely on God's grace. My mind has strayed from the richness of the gospel and to things of lesser value.

I got punched in the gut this Sunday and I can't remain the same. Thanks for the wake-up call God. I will not remain the same.

Are you feeling priestly?

No. I’m not talking about the famed star of 90’s hit TV show, Beverly Hills 90210, Jason Priestley… although his ground-breaking sideburns did strongly influence me to jump on the side-burn band wagon. It looks like he has updated his lamb-chops… nice work Jason.

What I talking about is the Christian teaching from the 16^th century officially called “the universal priesthood of believers.” What that basically means is that Christians don’t have to go through a priest to talk to God or confess or whatever, that in a sense they are priests and can go directly to God for themselves. A pretty liberating thought to the mass of 16^th century parishioners and at the same time a scary thought to minority population of priests whose livelihood depended on people depending on them.

The back story about this new 16^th century teaching is pretty riveting. A young Augustinian monk named Martin Luther started reading more of the Bible (see 1 Peter 2:5,9) and listening less to the pope and church tradition. He felt that people were being taken advantage of by the Church so he wrote out 95 things he thought the church was doing wrong and nailed the list to church doors… pretty ballsy. His attempt to get church leaders to have a family discussion and get back on the right track didn’t exactly work out and the event grew into the Reformation which birthed a new style of Christianity we call Protestantism.

Now his idea that Christians can go directly to God… we call it “the universal priesthood of believers”… has been twisted by some people. Some people respond by saying, “Cool, I can go directly to God and I don’t really need the church… because I’m a priest.” This can lead to a Christianity of “me & God” without the church… that is quite foreign to the Bible. I was reading my handy-dandy Church history book yesterday which fleshed out Luther’s thoughts on this everyone is a priest idea. Here it is…

“While it is true that all Christians, by virtue of their baptism, are priests, this does not mean as some later interpreters have said – that one is self-sufficient to approach God for oneself. There is a direct communion with God that all Christians can and should enjoy. But there is also an organic reality within which all communion with God takes place, and that reality is the church To be priests does not mean primarily that we are our own individual priests, but rather that we are priests for the entire community of belief, and that they are priests for us. Rather than setting aside the need for the community of the church, the doctrine of the universal priesthood of believers strengthens it. It is true that access to God is no longer controlled by hierarchical priesthood. But we still stand in need of the community of believers, the body of Christ, in which each member is a priest for the rest, and feeds the rest. Without such nourishment, an isolated member cannot live.” (Justo L. Gonzalez, 33-34).

WOAH… our priestliness actually means our lives depend on others MORE not LESS. How un-American! How Radical!

Lent

I have never observed Lent. I did not grow up in church tradition which suggested it. I have often considered it a weird ritual at best and a dead ritual at worst. But this was all due to my own ignorance.

As I understand it, it is a 40 day preparation for Easter that begins on Ash Wednesday (TODAY). It includes some sort of fast for the purpose of "leaving something behind" like the Israelites on the eve of the Exodus. In addition extra time is spent in prayer and bible reading.

I see this as a valuable asset in my own relationship with Jesus Christ. I think it will add to the expectancy of Easter and will allow for a time of self-reflection and purging.

The observation of Lent is a growing trend in young evangelical churches.

Mark Batterson (from National Community Church) observes it and suggests that it helps to practice I Corinthians 6:12-13: "Everything is permissible for me--but not everything is beneficial. Everything is permissible for me--but I will not be mastered by anything."

Mars Hill Bible Church has some great resources including reflective questions and a Lenten reading schedule. They suggest that the church has an opportunity to respond to God's invitaton in Joel 2:12 to "Come back to me, with all your heart."

The journey begins today.

The Pursuit of Happyness

I am a pretty big Will Smith fan. He has certainly succeeded in transitioning from kid-rapper to family TV show star to the silver screen. So when I saw the previews for his latest project with son Jaden I was excited. And the movie based-on the true rags-to-riches story of Chris Gardner was no disappointment.

It was an inspiring story of perseverance, hope and hard work in the face of seemingly never-ending obstacles. The moral I picked up was…if you work hard enough long enough you can make your way out of the pit. It is a story that embodies the American Dream.

But don’t mistake the American Dream for the Christian story. For if you think that message of the bible is …if you work hard enough long enough you can make your way out of the pit… then you are mistaken. That is certainly a religious mindset but it is not the way of Jesus.

and call upon me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you shall glorify me. Psalm 50:15

The Christian message is that man is spiritually paralyzed and is completely incapable to climb out of the pit that we are in. Our only course of action is to cry out for mercy, for help, for God to throw us a rope and to lift us out of our despair. We need resue. But we can’t only He can. And when we have been delivered we overflow in joy and give him ALL the credit for our deliverance.

When delivered we find happyness and joy that we were incapable of even considering while in the pit. Our joy is rooted in the One who has delivered us and done something for us that we could not do for ourselves. He makes us happy.

God’s greatest interest is to glorify the wealth of His grace by making sinners happy in Him. –John Piper

Is Church Enough

I love church... you know going "to church" that happens for me on Sunday. And for me the bigger the better. I love big churches. I like crowds. I like big bands or choirs. I like polished preaching. I like the feel of a crowd. And I like meeting new people (every week).

There is something in the presence of a large church that I just plain like. This past Sunday at our "big" Church I was on-stage at an event that broke a big group of 200 plus people into small groups. And I got to wondering... is church enough? When I think of "Church" I think of lots of pews and row after row of people who are strangers. I think of thousands of people who move, en masse, into a large room and experience a big event, then go back home to individualize what just happened... and I wonder... is that enough? Not is it wrong or is it necessary, but is it enough? If that is all that someone experiences as church, have they experienced what Christ died for?

And I read in the bible where "church" is described like this: "And they devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers. All the believers were together and had everything in common and they began selling their property and possessions and distributing the proceeds to everyone, as anyone had need. And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts" (Acts 2:42, 44-46)

I don't get that in "church". It's not so much that church is deficient... but I think "big" churches can be deficient. The big service lacks accountability... it lacks eating together... it lacks praying together... it lacks sharing things in common... it lacks sharpening one another.

So I don't think "church is enough"... we need something smaller, more intimate where we are exposed and encouraged and challenged and where we are eating together.... regularly.

Sometimes Friends are Like Dentists

Faithful are the wounds of a friend;
profuse are the kisses of an enemy.
Proverbs 27:6

Sometimes friends are like dentists...they shouldn't always tell you everything is OK, because that can be detrimental to your health. Last Wednesday was one of those days for me. There was something in my life that I needed to deal with before it got out of hand. And thanks to my friend, Dave, we were sitting there face-to-face dealing with it.

It all started about 3 months ago when he kindly confronted me on the subject. He said he saw something in my life that I had not noticed. He did it because he cared. He knew the truth might hurt, but he was willing to risk our relationship over the matter. I thought everything was OK, but Dave could see that it wasn't.

So last Wednesday he sat me down and we went through the painful process of working it out. He wouldn't let me just cover it up and demanded that we get to the root of the issue, so that it would not resurface again. Sin can be like that, right? If caught, we want to minimize and apologize... but often we aren't honest with ourselves and others and we don't deal with the real heart issue involved.

God says a good friend doesn't let a friend just keep on sinning; rather "if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness (ESV - Gal 6:1)". And he continues with a warning to the restorer... "pay close attention to yourselves, so that you are not tempted too (NET)."

It was painful, but later that night as I was healing, I was actually glad that the problem was discovered and healing was in process.

So what was it.....well in the spirit of full disclosure.... it was... a trip to my dentist. Yes Dave is in fact Dr. Conrad. And 3 months ago he noticed a cavity and scheduled for me to have it cleaned and capped. If it wasn't for Dr. Conrad decay would still be eating away at my teeth. And I couldn't help but see the parallel between how God says a good friend should be at the loving discovery by my dentist. Sometimes a friend needs to be like a dentist and sometimes your friend is your dentist.

May your friends courage to "wound" you and confront you on sin in yor life for, bring a smile to your pearly whites.

2007 is starting FAST for some

I got an e-letter today from Ed Young, Jr. pastor of Fellowship Church outside Dallas, TX. It appears he recently kicked off the churches new year by inviting the entire church to a 21 day fast, in accompaniment with his "Larger Than Life" series. In a church-meets-MTV element he is even posting a confessional Video Journal which gives a great behind the scenes look at this large church figure... including family scenes in his swayzee kitchen.

The fast, as explained in the weekend service, is a spiritual discipline designed to better connect us with God. As a church, we are fasting in order to deepen our relationship with God and walk in step with His plan and purpose. The best way to do this is to redirect our food source. This is accomplished through substituting our regular food intake with Bible reading, praying and journaling. The overall goal is to experience a genuine hunger for spending time with God."

I can't argue with that...in fact it seems like the discipline of fasting is way out of style these days. For some good biblical "meat" on the topic I recommend John Piper's sermon Man Shall Not Live on Bread Alone. Happy Feasting!

New Attitude......the conference

New Attitude
Louisville, KY
Memorial Day Weekend 2007
*for singles of all ages & young married couples

This great event happens right in our own "backyard". I have great respect for the men they are putting on the platform and the creative, worshipful, challenging nature of what they are doing. I'm going this year and would love to take a crowd of singles and young marrieds with me. The cost is reasonable &and I've already saved a block of hotel rooms. Their web-site is full of downloads, book recommendations and constantly update with sweet blogs. I can wait!

The Good Life

My life is often out of order. Maybe that is why we have New Year Resolutions... because we all feel that the ship is a bit off course and it is our attempt to right the ship. I think the human condition is a disorderly life.

We are cracked and broken to the core by self-destructive things that we do and by the destructivethings that others do to us. We sin and we are sinned against. The result is chaotic... at times their is joy and peace and even fulfillment...but that all happens in the context of a disordered life.

The gospel of the kingdom that Jesus preached is that God has a good life for us... an ordered life... a redeemed life. It is quite a foreign thing to us... so foreign that it takes murder. The old life has to be killed a new life has to be birthed, then nourished and pruned.

This new life is like a beautiful fruit tree that in times creates luscious fruit. My spiritual life is often unfruitful and stale and dry. That is why when I came across the following verses, I was reminded to resolve anew this year to pursue the good life which I have freely received from its author.

"For this very reason, make every effort to supplement….
your faith with virtue,
and virtue with knowledge,
and knowledge with self-control,
and self-control with steadfastness,
and steadfastness with godliness,
and godliness with brotherly affection,
and brotherly affection with love.
For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ." 2 Peter 1:5-8

Mistaken Identity

This January I decided to take a look at our financial investments and savings accounts and retirement funds to make sure that everything was accounted for. In the process I found a retirement fund of about $125 that Christine got when she did some substitute teaching in Dallas during our first year of marriage. She was an awesome sub...the kids hated her and the teachers loved her, because she followed their instructions to the "T".

Since the dollar amount was so low, I decided to just cash it in and have them cut us a check. But as I looked more closely at the account it looks like it could almost belong to an entirely different person. I requested that the check be cut to Mrs. Christine Burkle. But the account is registered for Mr. Lelia Griffin. That's right Mr. They have her god-give first name (Lelia) and her maiden name (Griffin) and somehow have her as a male. And even though we might never see that $125, it makes me realize how important our identity is.

It is important to know who we are...and who we aren't. Many people struggle their whole life with a variety of identity issues. Some people long for others identity or want to switch their own. We each have an innate desire to center ourselves comfortably around an identity. Maybe that is why in the Bible God regularly encourages his children to know who they are and whose they are. To remember who remembers them and whose eye is watching over them. Redemption is a new identity, rooted "in Him"... in Jesus. Jesus' offer of freedom from sin and guilt and death is a promise of new life which he lives through us (Gal 2:20), if we will open our heart to it.

Don't let the world tell you who you are (especially the Highland Park ISD), tell the world who you are through Christ.