Pushback

I received a bit of pushback on my suggestion for a good church slogan the other day. He's a friend and e-mailed me off-line. But his thoughts were valid and I think quite common, so I'd like to share them with you. He basicly said... I don't trust church people enough to share personal things with them. I've been hurt in the past and I'm tired of feeling judged. So how do you actually find people... in the church... that you can trust.

Can anyone identify? I didn't think so. Well his experience is I think more common than he may actually feel. But I don't want to allow church to throw in the towel and only be the LND floor of the hospitol for sinners. That's the floor where everyone is happy because new babies are born every day. No the church should also be an ER where people might die quick, or the terminal diseases floor where people are slow to die, or the psych floor where people don't play with full decks.

So how would you council my friend to find people he can trust... because he seriously wants to find them. Well here are 4 ideas from me:

(1) Don't make it all about you: If the church is just a place where you vomit all your needs, wants, wins and losses you will drive people away. If you want to find true friends... then first be a true friend. Go out of your way to show your concern for others and in the process you might find someone willing to return the favor.

(2) Look to and point others to Jesus: The good news of the church is that we've have been, are being and will be rescued through Jesus. If we spend all our time focusing on our problems without moving on to the resolution, we are just a support group. We should balance the lamentations of our circumstance with hope infused trust on the one who will dry our tears... Jesus.

(3) Remember we are all broken: Period. Those who are most broken are the ones who don't realize how bad off they are. Look for people who do the first two well... because they will make good friends. And remember, those you look up to are broken too.

(4) Proceed with caution: We've all been burned... so don't be naiive. Allow time for relationships to deepen. Take small steps with self-disclosure and before sharing BIG things... share your fears.