MIA

I've been out of the blogosphere for the past few weeks, on the heels of having a blast posting the "3 Questions" Series. But for many good reasons. So here's the scoop:

WORK has owned me for the past few weeks. Although after 5 months I have still not made a commission check... and am actually making less than I was this time last year... my activity has picked up dramatically. Lots of work = tired Clay.

FAMILY is my life. When I hit the home... I get the hand-off and am with all my kids from play to dinner to clean-up to baths to bed-time at 8-9ish. It is a blast. I love my kids. Lots of family = extra tired Clay.

SERMONIZING is on tap. Yep I'm preaching this Sunday at Journey. I've been prepping for the past few weeks while awake... and while asleep. It's amazing when your spirit is set on listening to God how your night-time thoughts and dreams are tuned in too. Working title is "How Deep is Your Love" from Luke 7:36-50... but there are still 3 days... so it might change.

American Idol is in full swing. C'mon you didn't think I'd lost my priorities did you. Gotta say it's the guys year and I'm a band-wagon David Archuletta fan.... DAWG.

Friends. For some reason I've had the chance to connect a couple of good college and prior-life buddies. It's been a blast to pull out the pictures and get nostalgic... and pick up where we left off.

These have been good days. And if you ask my wife and kids... they would say I haven't been MIA after all... and I'm happy about that.

A weekend in my web

Life is a web of relationships. That is why when considering who you will marry... you should consider the relationships that come with your spouse... because they will become part of your web. That is why when you lose a relationship or many... there is pain and loss... because part of your web is torn away.

So I'm continually weaving and re-weaving my web... and that was the theme of this past weekend.

On Friday Night I played poker with a bunch of my neighbors. I don't really know my neighbors all that well and it was only a $10 buy-in... so I jumped at the chance. I recently realized that most of my friends are Christians... what a shame. So I'm in the process of repenting of my sin, I am on the lookout for new friends. Will you pray for me.

On Saturday morning... I skyped my sister, Stephanie, who is spending the next year teaching English in Seoul, South Korea. I happened to be up at 6:15A, which is 7:15P, and randomly caught her for 45 minutes before she went out with friends. I have not had the chance to talk to her since she arrived about 3 weeks ago. It was great to catch up.

On Sunday morning... I enjoyed the preaching of my good friend Steve. They will post his message from Sunday here, soon. Steve is a gifted preacher and as funny as they come. He has also been a great friend and source of encouragement to me during my time of transition.

On Sunday night... I church hopped with some close couple friends. The place we visited blew my socks off. On your next free Sunday Night, you've gotta visit LifePoint Columbus up in Polaris. The vibe is young... the worship will blow you away... the preaching is solid... and the kids facilities rival COSI. Afterwards we went out for pizza and closed the joint down.

Just another weekend in my web.

An old dog learns new tricks

My friend... mentor... infamous punster... and general journeying partner has entered the blogosphere to wax eloquent on the highways and byways of life. I'm excited that he has finally crawled out from under his rock and is going public with his thoughts. He speaks from a lifetime of following Jesus and from 31 years of formal ministry in a variety of contexts. Yet he continues to grow... develop... and change.

He has recently left a secure ministry position as he takes "getting out of the boat and following Jesus" to its radical extremes. BEWARE: If you read his stuff... he might challenge you to do the same. Check out Denny's work over at Joy in the Journey.

Ode to Ted

My friend Ted was released from his worship duties at Northwest yesterday so that he could fully pursue where God wants him next. Ted has become a close friend in our less than a year together so I thought I would sound off on some of the things that I love about my friend.

I actually didn't like Ted the first time I met him. I don't think I have told him that... but something about him rubbed me the wrong way. Maybe it was his sharp sense of humor... or his California "dude" slang... or his dashing good looks (snicker)... or his speak-his-mind way. Despite all that... I pressed on and spent time with him and Jen and his kids. And as we shared time together we came to understand each other and formed a deep bond. So here is what I love about Ted...

His creativity: He is a truly out of the box thinker when it comes to worship and doing church. From the first time he joined a staff meeting, I knew we were in for a wild ride. He loved experimenting and trying and creating and changing and pursuing. His creativity was on display at the Christmas Eve Service and during the Games People Play series.

His support: He supported my ministry. In fact for our two biggest events ever (the Got Milk and Roadtrip groupLinks) Ted put together a worship band and did a great job leading us in worship. He also supported my personally. He and his wife are involved with our family. We've talked about everything and have encouraged and challenged one another. We know that they want the best for us... they are on our side... in our corner... they are our fans. We would be lost without the Williams'. And we have tried to reciprocate the same for them.

His love for Jesus: Ted loves Jesus and wants that for everyone whom he serves. We have regularly stopped all talking and have prayed together for chunks of time... just seeking the hand of the Lord or peace for a difficult decision. He humbly seeks God and His truth in a way that invites others to join him.

His authenticity: Ted is not good at putting on a show or keeping a secret. What you see is what you get. He is a truth-teller and tells it like he sees it. That scares many people and make others uncomfortable, but I think it is how God has wired him. During our recent transition, a number of times Ted has give me honest assessment of what he thinks should or should not happen. I have come to not only accept that but to cherish that about Ted.

Ted is currently in Virginia with his family awaiting another medical procedure for his six year old, Noah. Unfortunately, he was not given the opportunity to say good-bye to his ministry or the church. I wish he was given that chance... It is hard to bring closure without saying good-bye. But if you feel led, I would encourage you to shoot him and his family some encouragement [ted.williams4@gmail.com] for the next leg of his journey.

Don't change my friend!

Perspective

I got a dose of perspective today. I had the chance to spend time with a friend of mine, Bill. He is actually old enough to be my grandfather... but we still call each other friends. And since I never really knew my own grandfathers... he sort of fills a bit of that role in my life.

Bill lost his wife, Faye, to alzheimers after a long battle. And strangely enough he likes to talk to me and lean on me for some sort of support. I honestly do not know what to say to make him feel better... so I normally just listen and tell him that I can see how much he loved her.

Today he shared that he often struggles with doubt... doubt about whether he did everything within his power to care for her. Tears welled in his eyes as he recounted some of the medical decisions that he made and he wondered if he had done the right thing.

Like I said... I normally listen... but today I shared some words of encouragement that God has been speaking to me lately. I said... Bill, God knows how much you love your wife and he doesn't want you to live with doubt about whether you did enough. He wants you take your pain to him... to trust him with your pain... and he will take that burden from you and will replace it with his peace.

He thanked me for encouraging him... and for my friendship... then apologized for taking too much of my time (which he didn't).

Bill shows me old hearts still break... that love goes beyond the grave... and that we are never too old to need friends we can talk to.

I'm not satisfied...

...living in yesterday's hour.

Sorry, it is a song by HillSong that I've been singing ever since I saw the video over on Aaron's blog. For an inspirational break take 5 minutes to check out Believe.

Saying Goodbye

I've heard that behind every good book, there is a twisted mind... I'm not sure if that applies but I thought I would throw it out.

I'm working through how to say good-bye this week. I posted here about my friend... mentor... and co-pastor... Denny. Right now he is just a few doors down from my office and the door is always open. We will often have a running conversation... that carries throughout a whole week. It's a blast!

But next Monday... that office will be vacant. So I'm working through how to say good-bye. Anyway... here is how I'm trying to do it.

Remember: I think it is important to look back and remember how someone has impacted you. Remember the victories. Remember the obstacles overcome. Remember the fun times and the growing that you've done together. Tell the stories. Look at the pictures. Let the emotions of those experience flood back and enjoy. There is no wasted time... only opportunities to grow and learn. Remembering helps me to redeem the time.

Grieve: When you say good-bye it is natural to feel sad about the loss. Anytime that we lose something or someone that we are fond of... it hurts... and that is OK. So I allow my feelings of sorrow to bubble to the surface and get out. I like to tell the person that I will miss them and what they have meant to me... that is part of grieving... identifying and naming the loss.

Pray: This helps me to turn the situation over to God... it helps me come to a holy closure of the event. I turn my grief over to the Lord. And I ask God to bless and lead whoever is leaving. That way I can see their leaving... more as a going... and can join in the joy and excitement of what God has in store for them.

God, Thank you for bringing Denny & Carol across my path. Thank you for their investment in my life and their example of following you. Now I pray that you will shine the light brightly before them and prepare them for the exciting new beginning you have in store for them. Amen

"...every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end."
SuperSonic, "Closing Time"

I got the Blues

The mailman brought the official news yesterday…. Denny… my friend… mentor… partner… encourager…. cheerleader… dreamer… fellow pastor… is leaving our church. And while I’m inspired that he is chasing daylight in response to God’s call… I’ve got the blues today…. because I will miss him. So I hit play on my Keb’ Mo playlist today… and now I’ll reflect on what I’ll miss about Denny.

His wisdom: I have spent hundreds of hours one-on-one with him over the past three years peppering him with questions about church, life, ministry, fathering, husbanding… everything. He has given me sage, biblical advice learned through 31 years of ministry and 54 years of life. He always answered his cell phone, and his door was always open.

His presence: He was always present in the moment. He was always interested in what I wanted to talk about and really cared for me. I remember when he visited us in the hospital after Griffin was born. He walked in the room as Griffin was turning blue from choking on milk. The nurse rushed in and cleared Griffin’s throat and whisked him away. Denny sensed our panic… and in response he comforted us, hugged us and prayed with us. After he left, my non-Christian father-in-law (who had witnessed the entire event) commented, “When I think of what Jesus would be like today… I think he would be just like Denny.” I agree.

His questions: Denny was fun because he seemed to have more questions about Church than he had answers. Not that he didn’t have answers… but he wasn’t afraid of questioning things about church. He invited questions and was willing to question how we do church, how we don’t do church, what makes us tick and what should make us tick. His questions led him to be open to new ideas and new answers. He constantly read new books and had some new insight.

His vision: Denny was a dreamer. I tend to think he is a bit like Gordon MacKenzie in “Orbiting the Giant Hairball”. It was like church weighed him down from freely flying as he dreamed. He dreamed about what the church could be…. could try… should try… And he invited others to dream with him. And sometimes he allowed your dreams to take center-stage…. His dream didn’t always have to win. His vision allowed him to think and re-think church with a great degree of hope and risk and willingness to try new things.

His support: He really cared about what I was doing and he wanted me to succeed. He helped me rename my ministry and he showed up to my big events. He prepped me before them and called afterwards to debrief. He lifted my spirits when they were down and put the small things into a bigger perspective. His support more than once filled up my cup.

God puts lots of twists and turns in our life. I thank God that he allowed me to have the joy of working under and along side a man like Denny for the past 3 years. I will dreadfully miss his daily presence in our office but I hope that our relationship will continue on… wherever our futures take us.

Good Friends

We all need good friends. You know the type that are with you through thick and thin. They want the best for you but don't expect the world from you. They are on your side. They are in your corner. They put up with your quirks and they help you to round off your rough edges. Thank God I've got some of those in my life.

On our way back from vacation in Florida we visited such friends, the Keevers (Jeremy, Kelly, Calahan & Harper) in Greenville, SC. We met the Keevers in our first week at Dallas Seminary 6 years ago. We became fast friends and even joined their Spiritual Formation Group.

Our friendship was forged through the co-misery of tough seminary years and the challenges of adjusting to post-seminary life and new churches. But even though we hadn't seen them in 4 years... we picked up right where we left off.

Since our Dallas days we've collectively added 3 1/2 kids to the litter, but much is the same. Jeremy serves as Directional Pastor to Students at Grace Church, a position that took him 2 years to land after seminary. We enjoyed the sweet tea and southern hospitality.

Risky Business

Any time that you travel overseas... it is risky business. But when you travel to be a part of something bigger than yourself... WATCH OUT!

Some of the young adults at our church just went to Estonia for about 10 days. They poured out all their energy to help run an English Camp for about 95 high school students. The goal of the camp is to expose these atheistic students to the Christian worldview.

And listening to their stories upon return... they have changed from the experience. It does not surprise me. That is how God works. That is how life works. We are most alive when we are selflessly giving. Because we are most in touch with the imago dei during such experiences. I think it is one of the ways that our DNA cries out for a great human truth... that we have been designed for a purpose.

My friend Chris has put a page together to share some pictures from the trip. Check it out.

I'm sore

Physically. I can't remember the last time I have been this sore. For the last 72 hours ibuprofen has been my friend. And I have the 2 guys in this picture to thank.

My buddy Bob, the tall one, invited to come up to his gym for a kick-boxing workout. I was truly excited about the chance to go into Bob's world and see where and how he spends a good portion of his life. So I can thank Bob for part of my soreness... he got me there.

Then there is Jason, the other shortish guy. He was the class instructor. He was the one that put me through 45 minutes of non-stop kicking, punching and calisthenics. And I can thank him for helping me to get my "money worth" out of the free class. Thanks Jason!

You know it is quite a humbling experience when you are physically pushed to a point where you have to stop and let your burning lungs suck in enough oxygen to keep you from passing out. And it is doubly humbling when you realize that the entire class could literally kick your butt, especially when half of the class is women. These were some tough girls.

And if I ever get in a street fight I want Bob and Jason on my side.

Sometimes Friends are Like Dentists

Faithful are the wounds of a friend;
profuse are the kisses of an enemy.
Proverbs 27:6

Sometimes friends are like dentists...they shouldn't always tell you everything is OK, because that can be detrimental to your health. Last Wednesday was one of those days for me. There was something in my life that I needed to deal with before it got out of hand. And thanks to my friend, Dave, we were sitting there face-to-face dealing with it.

It all started about 3 months ago when he kindly confronted me on the subject. He said he saw something in my life that I had not noticed. He did it because he cared. He knew the truth might hurt, but he was willing to risk our relationship over the matter. I thought everything was OK, but Dave could see that it wasn't.

So last Wednesday he sat me down and we went through the painful process of working it out. He wouldn't let me just cover it up and demanded that we get to the root of the issue, so that it would not resurface again. Sin can be like that, right? If caught, we want to minimize and apologize... but often we aren't honest with ourselves and others and we don't deal with the real heart issue involved.

God says a good friend doesn't let a friend just keep on sinning; rather "if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness (ESV - Gal 6:1)". And he continues with a warning to the restorer... "pay close attention to yourselves, so that you are not tempted too (NET)."

It was painful, but later that night as I was healing, I was actually glad that the problem was discovered and healing was in process.

So what was it.....well in the spirit of full disclosure.... it was... a trip to my dentist. Yes Dave is in fact Dr. Conrad. And 3 months ago he noticed a cavity and scheduled for me to have it cleaned and capped. If it wasn't for Dr. Conrad decay would still be eating away at my teeth. And I couldn't help but see the parallel between how God says a good friend should be at the loving discovery by my dentist. Sometimes a friend needs to be like a dentist and sometimes your friend is your dentist.

May your friends courage to "wound" you and confront you on sin in yor life for, bring a smile to your pearly whites.