Loneliness 6: Building a House of Understanding

By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established;
through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures. Proverbs 24:3-4

Some might say by this point in the week, "Ok I get it, I see that other fears in my life have kept me from developing true companionship, what do I do now?" That is a good place to be. Some might say, hey I'm single and that is why I feel lonely. I agree that a marital relationship offers the possibility of deeply intimate companionship, but I would encourage singles to practice their companionship making skills on the other relationships in their lives. If companionship is a house, then mutual understanding is the foundation. So here's a process for developing true companionship through mutual understanding:

1. Confess your real self to the Lord. Put your fears and personal struggles into words, audibly and speak them before the Lord. God already KNOWS you, but by being audibly honest with God it helps us to be honest with ourselves and others.

2. Have confidence that God knows you and accepts you. The old hymn, "Just as I am" comes to mind. God knows our selfishness, our loneliness, our fears, our lust, our hatred...and he still loves us completely. To those who trust in Him, He completely accepts and forgives us.

3. Proceed with caution. We must not go around dumping the truckload of our inner struggles on everyone we meet. And even our families or spouses do not need to know every detail of our issues. So pick your people and your issues wisely. If you are unsure seek the guidance of a spiritual mentor.

4. Commit to communicate. Two-way active communication is the foundation upon which true companionship is built. Listen well so as to understand the other person and share honestly so as to be clearly understood. Without communication there is no understanding and without understanding there is no companionship.

Is God stirring within your heart discomfort about some of your relationships? Slowly and cautiously be obedient to the Holy Spirit by beginning the companionship-making process.