Potty Training

This is a big week for the Burkles. My wife is going to work on potty training Griffin at 2 1/2. He has been trying to emulate his older brother for a couple of months. So after the potty "shadowing" and few successful dry runs we think he is ready to jump in with both feet.

I sped things up a few weeks ago when I taught him how to take his diaper off for baths. (*Note to future dads... when you teach your kid to take off their diaper, they will do that whenever they feel like it). So Griffy has forced our hand... it is now time for him to learn to control his bladder.

Isn't it funny how much we have had to learn. We learned to roll over, sit, walk, talk, use our hands and feet and how to control our bowels. So my wife would appreciate your prayers this week as she cleans up some messes and tries to prevent others.

Gut Check

This weekend the NFL draft happened. I've never watched it and probably never will... but I love picking up the Monday paper and seeing where my beloved Buckeyes were chosen. It was no surprise that Heisman Trophy winner Troy Smith was not chosen in the first round. They say he is too small and not accurate enough.

This must be quite a gut check for a guy that was riding high just a few months ago. Here's the high. He led OSU to its 3rd straight victory over rival Michigan (only QB to do that as a starter). Led OSU to undefeated regular season and national championship birth. Secured the Heisman trophy in the 2nd most lopsided vote in history. Then went on a whirlwind celebrity tour.

Now for the low. He was the 174th pick overall by the Baltimore Ravens. He was the 9th Quarterback picked overall (23 picks behind Jeff Rowe of Nevada). He was the 7th Buckeye picked. Before he was picked were three receivers (Gonzo, Ginn & Roy Hall) that he made look good all year and his running back (Antonio Pittman) whom benefited from his double threat as an opportunistic passer/runner.

Talk about a gut check. Going from award stands to afterthoughts. So now we get to see how he responds. Can he prove his critics wrong? Can a "small" quarterback succeed? Can he overcome the Heisman QB jinx?

Smith commented on the situation in the Baltimore Sun today.

"The critics are going to be here for the rest of my life. There's nothing I can do about them," Smith said. "In a lot of ways, they make people stronger or they take people under. My whole life I've been fighting that battle. It turned out positive right now, and I'm going to continue to stay the course and fight the critics. They're not going anywhere, and I accept them for who they are."

I guess it is not the size of the man in the fight, but the size of the fight in the man.

Til Death Do Us Part

I attended a wedding today. Steve and Christy met in my ministry at church. They make a perfect couple. They just seem to fit together. So today was a fun day to celebrate with them the beginning of a new stage of life for both of them.

I love weddings. It such a time of joy and happiness. Everyone is on best behavior and showers the bride and groom with love and encouragement. That is the way it should be. As we sat at the reception, the married gals shared fond memories of their own wedding day. It was as if each girl wanted to relive that day over and over again.

What I love about weddings is the hope that abounds. According to the Bible the marriage relationships is a picture of God's relationship with us (the Church). And that we are like a pure, virgin bride who will one day stand face-to-face with our groom, the Lord himself. And at each wedding the couple's hope that their relationship will reach its highest potential is almost tangible. Their dreams for each other are ripe and possible.

Life is hard. Relationships are hard. Romance fades. Hurts pile up. And dreams often give way to reality. But a wedding is picture of fresh starts. Tonight the two will become one and the journey begins. May their hopes and dreams never be dismissed by hurt or resentment.

Church Soundbites

I once heard a popular speaker say that there is only one basic rule in the Bible about how you have to do church... have elders.

Hmmm. Seems abit minimalistic... but if elders are properly doing their eldering according Scripture, they could pretty much keep everything on track.

I also heard another popular speaker share something an African pastor once said to him. If the church is no longer helping those in need, is it still the church?

I've been around a number of churches that have never even thought about that question.

Are you a future leader of the church?

I was recently listening to Erwin McManus on the Catalyst podcast and was blown away by some of the simply profound things that came out of his mouth. Most of us think we are leaders, even if we aren't... but the leaders that will the take the church through these days and into the future appear to be of an entirely different breed. If your interest is peeked, you won't be disappointed by listening to the entire podcast episode, but here is Erwin's snapshot of the DNA of a future leader of the church:

>...leaders who like complexity…
>... great minds and incredibly inventive people…
>... people who are not as interested in being rewarded by the institution as they are by genuinely being effective and engaging the world.
>... everyone of us wants affirmation by those who came before us…but the future of the church is gonna be created by those who are not controlled by the affirmation of those who came before us.

It sounds like linear, formulaic, institutional, emotionally needy people need not apply. So are you?

A New Mission

I read an article in Relevant Mag today about Gary Haugen with the International Justice Mission. IJM is a human rights agency that rescues victims of violence, sexual exploitation, slavery, and oppression. Here are some clips from the article.

Haugen predicts that this generation's spiritual calling will focus on the concepts of biblical justice, instead of evangelism and compassion work of the past.

To really care for the poor, you need to start with justice, Haugen says, Just as the world is figuring that out, the body of Christ is also figuring out that missions is not just about evangelism and discipleship or relief and development, but it's about the work of justice."

This is the great work of this generation.

One of Gary's inspirations to get involved in this was a trip to Rwanda after the genocide in the early '90s. In his mind this genocide in which racial tension led to 800,000 people being slaughtered in 8 weeks, was preventable. Watch the movie Hotel Rwanda to see more on this incident. To find out more about displaced children in war torn nations check out Invisible Children. Or to find out ways to help fight the Aids pandemic that is killing thousands of Africans a day check out the bloodwater mission.

Sorry: My top revenge targets

I have to enter the pastor’s confessional today and share that I struggle to respond with patience and kindness when I feel wronged. And when I look at my life the people closest to me are the most likely targets to get hit by the shrapnel. So here is my short list of my top targets for revenge. And before you continue on and conclude that I am an arrogant jerk… let me just wave the white flag and say “you are right… that is why I need God’s mercy… so that His mercy can fill me up and relieve me from my need to justify myself.

My wife: I love my wife. She is the closest to me and has the most control of my heart and therefore can hurt me the most, even if unintentionally. So here is how it looks. If I have a crazy dream or idea that I share with her and I perceive that her response is not as supportive as I desire, then I can be hurt. If I hold onto that pain and blame it on her lack of support I can choose to withhold future support from her at a time that I think I can even the score. This is a poisonous way to live… but I’ve been there and still face this temptation.

My kids: I love my kids. But even they can do things that let me down or irritate me. We are constantly working on obedience with our kids. And if I am really irritated or even embarrassed by a recent meltdown I can seek my revenge by enacting an unnecessarily steep punishment. Since I am bigger and louder and stronger I can actually bully my kids to appease my own anger. It is so easy to do. I must check myself every time I discipline them.

My co-workers: Now I’m a pastor and I work at a church. But that does not insulate me from feeling hurt or let down by some decisions in the office. And this can lead me to seek get my revenge… even on someone else in the office. So I can withhold my support or my encouragement from some project they are working on. I can avoid them and not continue to grow a relationship with them. Ultimately these are self-justifying reactions.

My opponents: The easiest person for me to seek revenge on is those who voice their disagreement or disapproval for things I am doing. But it’s really more than that… the people I’m talking about are just those who are against me and what I am trying to do. Now I never intend to do anything to offend or hurt someone… but it happens. I’ll get a comment, or an e-mail, or a letter… and my blood pressure rises and my defensiveness kicks in. I so bad want to dump the truck on these people to share how narrow their view is and to show how I’m keeping the bigger picture in view… but will that really help? We all have opponents, but that doesn’t justify revenge.

Sorry: how we get sweet revenge

Here are some unplugged thoughts to go along with our churches current series Games People Play. Here are some assumptions that I hold as I share my thoughts.

We ALL play these games.
We STILL play these games.
The WE I am talking about is Christians.

The week one message was Sorry: the game of sweet revenge. The message did not really unpack the anatomy of revenge… you know the unwritten “rules” of the game. So, since I’m a bit of revenge-seeker I thought I would enlighten you on some of the strategies I use to get revenge. [It’s not that I’m proud of it… in fact it something within me that I am trying kill…nevertheless it is there (see Romans 7)].

Actively: This is the most aggressive, in-your-face move. There is no skirting around this issue. This is when you take justice into your own hands. Like when you send that fiery e-mail. Or you get tired of your neighbor parking in front of your mailbox… so you park in front of his. And remember this is revenge… you feel you’ve been wronged and so the motive is to get back what was rightfully yours. Is that so wrong?

Passively: This is still revenge, but is much more polite (a strategy popularized in the Deep South), because you hand off the dirty work to someone else. It’s like calling the cops for trespassing, because your other neighbor is putting their garbage can on your property. Or going the tattle-tale route at work on small minor corporate issues (to get HR or the boss involved) because a peer isn’t following dress code. If you take this passive-aggressive route, then you can still look your victim in the face, smile sweetly and offer them a glass of sweet tea.

Directly: The direct route takes guts, so it has fallen out of popularity. Here you use the issue in which you feel wronged to enact your vengeance. So if your neighbor is responsible for scratching your car… you go and scratch their car. If they have disrespected you in public, then you disrespect them in public. This is the fight fire with fire approach.

Indirectly: More savvy players use this approach. In this scenario you choose a completely unrelated issue through which you enact your revenge. For example if someone has snubbed you from the invite list to an invite only party… you can share a few juicy morsels at the water cooler on how poor they are with their finances. Surprise is a key element in the indirect attack.

When it comes to the best revenge strategists in the Bible… I’d have to give the nod to chief priests in Jesus day. Reading the gospels can sound a bit like the Soprano’s. Like in John 12 when people start believing in Jesus after hanging out with his back-from-the-dead friend Lazarus. So they draw up a hit plan for Lazarus. You gotta give it to those chief priests… they’d go to extreme measures to protect the people from renegade rabbis.

Feliz Cumpleanos at Ti

Caden turns 4 today. Christine took him to Casa Fiesta for lunch and prepped him that the song would be a bit different. But don't you know that they whipped out their best Spanglish version of "Happy Birthday". I was very disappointed.

Caden is very happy to be 4... but it is not quite 6 (that is when he is old enough to get the Buzz Lightyear "shooty thing" at Walmart). This will be a big year for him... he will become a big brother again. I think he is up for the challenge.

He's already working on his obedience. After breakfast, I said "let's wash your hands." He popped right up (not normal) and ran to the sink and said "that's what a 4 year old does... he listens right away" With much power comes much responsibility. There must be more power in turning 4 than I had anticipated.

Wear what suits you to church

****I am alive. I have been alive and actually well during the last 2 weeks of my blog hiatus. But sometimes I get in a thinking funk and don't have anything to say. Sorry to Todd & Matt (the two guys that I know read this)... I'm back. So here is something light to get me back on track.***

I was on Mark Cuban's blog today for the first time. If you don't know him he is the controversial owner of the Dallas Mavericks (that is an NBA team for those who don't know). I lived in Dallas when he bought the team and he was always in the headlines. I remember the time that he said he would buy every person in Reunion Arena (the old home of the Mavs) a gordita if the Mavs scored over 100 points. The Mavs were crushing somebody and kept in their starters so that the could hit the century mark... yummy.

So today I saw his post entitled "Why I Don't Wear a Suit and Can't Figure Out Why Anyone Does !" I just love the conversation that this post can start. I've noticed that at our church few attendees wear suits, yet we pastoral leaders almost always wear suits. Why? The answer that I have landed on is purely cultural (not biblical). The challenge that we in the ministry face is how to not let church cultural expressions get in the way of being an access point for all to hear/see/experience the message of the gospel.

And so my judgment is that we should not make it difficult for the Gentiles who are turning to God. Acts 15:19

So why do you wear what you wear to church? What do you think I should wear?

Risky Business

Any time that you travel overseas... it is risky business. But when you travel to be a part of something bigger than yourself... WATCH OUT!

Some of the young adults at our church just went to Estonia for about 10 days. They poured out all their energy to help run an English Camp for about 95 high school students. The goal of the camp is to expose these atheistic students to the Christian worldview.

And listening to their stories upon return... they have changed from the experience. It does not surprise me. That is how God works. That is how life works. We are most alive when we are selflessly giving. Because we are most in touch with the imago dei during such experiences. I think it is one of the ways that our DNA cries out for a great human truth... that we have been designed for a purpose.

My friend Chris has put a page together to share some pictures from the trip. Check it out.

8 weeks

We are joyfully expecting our baby sometime in November of this year. We got our first glimpse of "her" this morning. The heart was beating and we can already see the body and head and the leg buds.

We will not officially know if we are having a "her" but Christine holding out hope. She is thinking pink.

When we brought this picture home our boys were a bit disappointed at "the picture of our new baby." I think they were expecting a real baby, not this grey blob.

Life is a gift and we are thankful so far that what we see is healthy.