Can you say NO? Maybe I should ask, do you say NO? I used to say yes to a whole lot of people who asked for a whole lot of me. It was fine until I got married and my wife helped me to understand that when I was saying yes to all these requests for me, I was simultaneously saying no to her.
Believe it or not it was quite a painful process, and one that is still going on. I guess in that sense you could say I'm a recovering Yes-aholic. So over time I've learned that there are at least 4 types of people that you have to learn to say no to.
1. Say NO to Sin. Okay this isn't really a person, but what if we personified sin. What if when some temptation of thought or action or non-action comes along we considered it a person inviting us to spend some time with them? Saying yes to sin is saying no to purity or love or truth. We must daily say NO when since asks us to come out and play.
2. Say NO TO church. This is not the smartest move for a guy who makes a living serving in a local church. But I have observed and even lived the experience of someone being at church all the time, to the detriment of a balanced life. These people sign-up for every ministry... come to every service... come early to set-up and stay late to break down. These are not bad things, and while they may keep you out of trouble, they don't earn you any brownie points with God. I guess what I'm saying is it is OK to say NO to church. God won't get mad at you.
3. Say NO to self. By nature I can be an undisciplined and lazy person. I regularly have this inner discussion with myself about putting off constructive work or exercise until later while overindulging in TV and food. I've got to learn to say no to my naturally lazy desires or desires that will destroy me. Part of discipline is denying the self of excessive things (food, entertainment) and encouraging self to productive things (service, leisure, study).
4. Say NO to others. If you say YES to every request for your time or your help or your input, then you are in trouble. If you are like me then you even feed off of these invitations and it actually grows your self-esteem. But what you don't realize is that at the same time you are saying NO to something else. Saying YES to staying late at work might be saying NO to more family time. Saying yes to playing softball with the guys might be saying NO to coaching your sons little league team. It is a bit twisted, but it is true.
It is OK you can say it.
1 comment:
YES, I too am a recovering yes-a-holic! I'm finally learning that I don't need to say yes to everything to feel worth. No is ok sometimes...and keeps me a little more sane! ;)
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